Astromilio Cosmic Cousins
We touched down on this blue marble not to “gift” you some shiny new truth, but to dig through the cosmic junk drawer you call human civilisation and put the pieces back where they belong. What you’ve been labelling as science, religion, or mythology? Same core file, just rebranded a thousand times by different beings with wildly different marketing strategies. Relax, cousin, we’re just here to plug you back into the main cosmic server. Connection was never truly lost… you just forgot your password.
Yeah, everyone’s screaming a different version of “truth” into the void. Some of them almost get it right, most are just recycling saurian clickbait. But what if it’s all the same core, chopped up, stretched thin, sprinkled through time so you’d never see the whole thing at once? This little universe popped into play about 13.7 billion years ago, after what you lot call the “Big Bang”.
Let’s compress the whole show into one human year, since you love charts and infographics:
| Fictitious year | Event | Actual Time |
|---|---|---|
| Jan 1 | Earth forms. | ~4.6 billion years ago |
| Mar 21 | Ocean slime unlocks the “life” achievement. | ~3.8 billion years ago |
| Jul 26 | Atmosphere gets an oxygen patch update. | ~2.5 billion years ago |
| Nov 10 | Multicellular squads spawn in the deep. | ~600 million years ago |
| Nov 25 | Life ragequits the ocean and moves to land. | ~430 million years ago |
| Nov 29 | Fish DLC drops, population spikes. | ~370 million years ago |
| Dec 12 | Dinosaur expansion pack launches. | ~230 million years ago |
| Dec 26 | Dino servers shut down. | ~65 million years ago |
| Dec 31 | First hominids load in. | ~2 million years ago |
| Dec 31, 11:49 p.m. | You arrive, immediately start naming constellations and making taxes. | ~100 thousand years ago |
To help you spot something in your blocked memories… here’s the family tree the Galactic Federation keeps updating.
Karma Universal Bank
$KARMA is the most spiritually misunderstood token in the universe.
Rumor says when $KARMA hits $0.00, all cosmic systems will crash:
- No more reincarnations
- No more balance corrections
- No more chances to farm virtue
- The universe just closes the app
We’ve found a way to hack the endless reincarnation loop we all seem stuck in: $KARMA. It’s what makes the universe go ’round, so they say. You hold it, you generate it, you lose it… and the more you have, the more doors open—some good, some questionable. That part’s on you. Holding $KARMA makes you cosmically influential; a being with the ability to vibe at higher frequencies, bend timelines, and engage in more experiences. Use it responsibly… or don’t. That’s your lesson to learn.
| Feature | Description |
|---|---|
| Spiritual fee | Every transaction has a “karma tax” — redistributed to the pool of good souls. |
| Social score | More $KARMA = higher moral status among Astromilios. |
| Purification rituals | Burn $KARMA to cleanse cursed NFTs or summon rare traits. |
WE LOVE YOU AND WANT TO HELP
everything’s on the same cosmic Wi-Fi—because the Universe isn’t a “thing,” it’s a Being (questionable sense of humor, excellent playlist). you feel me?
to ride the universal flow without face-planting the quantum skateboard, do this:
enter this room and log in to yourself first. close the mental tabs, airplane-mode the paranoia, breathe ×3. once the root-you connects, the rest of the multiverse auto-syncs. 🚪✨
Spirit State
The state of your spirit is the master key to perceiving the full spectrum of reality — from the densest planes where light drags itself, to the purest fields of crystalline mind. Stay aligned with high frequencies, for it is within them that the portals reveal themselves.
Tune your Atmic chakra with the AUM mantra at 963Hz, and remember: happiness is not a destination, but the natural state of one who vibrates at the centre of the All.